Reg and I have always had 'itchy feet', and loved to travel, sometimes into places where our car could not reach.  This is a story of a time, in our young mid life, when we connected up with others for the safety reasons of travelling through the outback in a group with a well equipped vehicle, and radio contact, while we followed the Burke and Wills explorers trail, up into Cameron Corner, the intersection of three states of Australia, Back of Burke, Innaminka, Birdsville, Boulia and , through the Gemtree country of the Harts Range.  We travelled with a group of 32 other mid life, inland travel enthusiasts in a Rolls Royce engine bus, with an experienced (we thought), tour guide/driver and a camp cook.   It was a 16 day appallingly run excursion which left Reg and I with our love of each other and the landscape intact but very wary of hitching ourselves into any organized by others, tour.  I am aware, that most tours are brilliantly run, no reflection on the generally high standard of the tour industry.

In telling this story of the desert pee, I should start by saying that yes to bus did have a toilet.  

The bus driver did have a temper.

It was the driver’s job to maintain the bus, that included emptying the toilet.   I wish that in my thirties I had the courage of my 60's and could have told the bus driver then that if the brochure said the bus had a toilet, then we, the passengers, were allowed to use the toilet.  

Back then, intimidation was used by the driver to minimize his work.  

The driver would pull up in the bush and say. 'ladies on the left, men on the right'.  

Now that system worked fine for a few days, but by ten days into the trip, couples got rather tired of being segregated in their brief wanderings when granted a leg stretch and so they went in whatever direction they wanted to, and the bus driver sat in the bus, guarding the toilet door, making sure no one used it, so he would not have to dig a hole in a sand dune and empty it.

Parts of the trip were, despite some conditions I'll not go into here, sheer magic.  The Coopers Creek near Innaminka and the Birdsville track was pure heaven and I loved and painted the old royal Hotel at Birdsville.

One particulate day we were travelling through Sturts Stony desert and there was nothing to squat behind, and never a moment when there were not men around and in my 30's I was too shy to tell the men to get around to the other side of the bus and give us ladies a fair go, we had to 'go', and too modest to 'just go' LOL, :-), and too scared of the intimidating driver to barge my way past him into the toilet in the bus.   My plan was that I would, 'hold on', till it was dark, then 'go'.   

LOL  Now that (holding on), is something at 62, LOL, I can hardly imagine, :-).

So after dinner, after dark, I took a torch and walked out into the desert alone.  Turned the torch off and relieved myself. Sigh :-)~~ ~~~~ more comfortable and with my clothes readjusted I reached out, picked up the torch and turned it on, and there, on the ground, between me and where the torch had been, was a desert taipan, the deadliest snake in the world.

Common sense is not always all that common and I've been guilty of a lot of very foolish blunders in my learning to live close to this beautiful country. 

One thing I have learned is the night time is when this country abounds in wild life with most of our wild creatures being nocturnal .

I suspect few fellow gray nomads would be foolish enough to contemplate groping around on a desert floor in the dark, like I did, that takes the prize in stupidity.

A common mistake made by caravanners is leaving food or shoes outside the van as dingoes are on the increase and can become dangerous if encouraged to associate with humans in their desire for a feed.  Shoes left outside to air are a particularly tasty dingo delicacy.

Crocodile country is no place to leave the dog tied up under the van.   For the most part, humans are safe in the bush as long as you follow commonsense guidelines, sturdy shoes and jeans.

Well I hope you had a laugh at my desert pee story and not feel so foolish if you have made a few  green horn boo boos adjusting to living 'out back', at any stage, yourself. :-).
Some of Reg and my, most memorable, funny  moments have been when our total bush inexperience has allowed wild life to get the better of us, I think possums stole the half of the wedding cake we took away camping with us on our honeymoon.   Now who is supposed to be the master race?  LOL, bush creatures, own the bush at night, we just learn to live in harmony with them.